its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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