my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
