I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What drink are we having for lunch?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
