I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize