they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
