Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize