I met the friendliest cop last night
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize