i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize