Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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