I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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