She said her name was "party"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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