the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The beers last night were like the tears from god
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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