Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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