4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
