i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
