Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
not ubering you a puppy
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
