it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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