if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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