i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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