I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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