my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
