dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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