I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
