reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
