He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
