you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
