please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
