i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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