Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
