those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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