cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
