All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
