How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
