So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need to sanitize my soul.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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