If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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