My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
