there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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