I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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