I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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