I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
