So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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