He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
