What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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