so that wasnt chicken after all
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
