she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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