did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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