I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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