It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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