I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
