Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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