doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize