I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize