I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
