yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
