May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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