If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
