she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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