Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
