we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
