I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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