Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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