Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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