allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
